Don't Stop Believing

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The secret of success is consistency of purpose.
— Benjamin Disraeli

Mile Marker

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Yesterday, we waited for his first tooth to come.




Today, we waited for it to go.





Tomorrow, buzz off. We're not ready for you. Not even one little bit.





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Armed to the Teats

Although I myself have no first hand knowledge to speak of, I hear tell that some women use their breasts as weapons. And just as with guns, sometimes when you wave those things around, people get hurt.

Woman charged in breast milk assault on jailer

Published: Mar 7, 2010

OWENSBORO, Ky. (AP) - A woman in jail for public intoxication was accused of assaulting a jailer by squirting breast milk at her. WYMT-TV reported that a 31-year-old woman was arrested Thursday on a misdemeanor charge of public intoxication. But as she was changing into an inmate uniform, she squirted breast milk into the face of a female deputy who was with her.

The woman now faces a felony charge of third degree assault on a police officer. Her bond was set at $10,000.

This story, as you probably know, has gone viral. Millions of people are getting a good chuckle out of this dingbat. But I must be getting old and crotchety, because I don't get the joke. I breastfed my son until he was well into his twenties.* You'll never meet a more staunch believer in the power of breast milk. But I won't be getting in line to high five her creative civil disobedience. I'm too busy creating possible scenarios that would make it okay to be simultaneously nursing and so drunk that you end up in the back of a patrol car. I'm too busy hoping somebody was, and is, taking good care of her child in her absence. I'm too busy hoping that she's able to make bail soon, so she can get back home to the child she left behind.

This story doesn't make me laugh. It makes me sad.


* Slight use of hyperbole. Do not contact your local Child Abuse Hotline.