Saturday, April 24, 2010

Shipping News

About a week ago, I made my usual frantic eleventh hour search for a birthday present for my mother. On the very first website, I found just the right thing. It was something she would really love. It was beautiful; it was meaningful; it was spiritual; it was useful. And, best of all, it was on sale!

I should have known it was dipped in fail.

I found it during my lunch hour at work. But since I'm not a real grown up, I didn't have a credit card with me and couldn't place the order. When I got home, I headed straight to the website, credit card at the ready. But my perfect present had vanished. I couldn't find it anywhere. The Internets ate it. I called the 800 number to see if a human being could help me find it, but apparently, I had imagined it. They deny it ever existed.

I should probably stop shooting up at work.

I searched a little more and found a suitable backup present. To assure that this one wouldn't disappear in a puff of cybersmoke, I got on the phone immediately to place my order. I'm naïve enough to believe that interacting with a real live customer service representative will guarantee success. If you need further proof of my shopping naïveté, when the woman asked for the name on the card, I said, "Oh, you can just say Mom."

"No," she explained patiently, as if speaking to a particularly dense mentally challenged child, "the name on the credit card."


But today the good news came that I wasn't the only confused party in that conversation. The present just arrived.

At my house.

1500 miles from my mother's house.

A week after her birthday.

And now, not only did I pay shipping to get it to my house, I get to pay shipping again to get it to hers. There aren't many things I'm careful about, but not wasting money is top of the list.


I was specific to the point of being obnoxious that this was a gift for my mother, who lives in Argyle, New York, not Little Rock, Arkansas. "Now you've got that address right, right?" I said. "It's not coming to Little Rock; it's going to New York. Right?"


Happy Birthday, Mom.

PS, Does anyone else find it ironic that the name of this company is Women of Faith?

. .


Anonymous said...

I enjoyed the Blog....I enjoyed knowing that a gift is on its way.
I'll enjoy it even more when the gift is in my hot, greedy little hands. love you, Suz.

Soozietoone said...

The part of you not having a credit card reminds me of the time you decided to take the boys to Wye Mountain with no gas in the van, no credit card and no money. No one can say you're not adventurous.

What was the first present?


bloorondo said...


Congratulations on the successful completion of Sliver's first year in pixels! You just get better and better.


Toone, if you need a deal on a Sandy Patty DVD, I'm your man.

SuperJob said...

Very funny post! lol... nothing like mother's day. Hard to find a job in today's economy.